Supporting Language-Delayed Toddlers and Preschoolers During Transitions 

Transitions can be challenging for toddlers and preschoolers, especially for those with language delays. Moving from one activity to another—whether at home or school—can trigger frustration, meltdowns, and resistance. However, with the right strategies, we can support young children in navigating transitions more smoothly while supporting their emotional and language development.

Strategies to Ease Transitions

1. Use Visual Supports

Many children with language delays struggle with understanding verbal instructions or concepts. For example, many children might not have any idea of how long five minutes is when we say "five more minutes!". Visual supports, such as picture schedules, timers, and first-then boards, provide clear expectations for what will happen and when it will happen. Using gestures can also help your child understand what is happening like holding up 1 finger for one more minute or 5 fingers for five more minutes. For children who can read, something as simple as writing down on a white board what will happen throughout the day can help. Visual aids help children process and anticipate transitions, reducing anxiety and improving cooperation. Our children can refer back to the visual schedule throughout the day if needed to help them remember what is coming up. 

2. Give Advanced Notice

Most people, adults included, like knowing what the schedule is for the day. Would you like showing up to work and having no idea when meetings are going to start untill five minutes before hand? Providing a countdown or verbal cue before a transition helps prepare children for the change. Saying, "go down the slide two more times then it's time to go home" or "pick one last thing to do then it is time to say goodbye" gives your child time to mentally prepare for finishing the activity. Use gestures to help your child understand your instructions. Be sure to stick to your guns when it is time to be finished. It might be difficult at first but your child will learn what the warning means when you follow through. 

3. Incorporate Transitional Songs or Chants

Music and rhythm can make transitions more engaging and fun and directions more memorable. Children with language delays often respond better to music than speaking directions. Songs like "It's Time to Clean Up" from Gracie's Corner signals the shift in activities while keeping the atmosphere positive. Play the song on your phone or sing it yourself, your child does not care what you sound like! When you sing the same song each time it helps build a new routine and expectation for the activity. Some of my other favorite times to use transition songs are for nap time or when stopping an activity to go potty. Daniel Tiger has many songs that teach social-emotional skills, self-regulation and independence. I also enjoy making up new words to my favorite popular songs to incorporate into routines. You can even pause throughout the song to let your child fill in and participate in singing. 

4. Offer Choices

Giving children a sense of control reduces power struggles. Offering choices is a quick and easy way to let your child be a part of decision making. Just be careful and make sure you only offer choices you are okay with following through on! If your child is struggling with walking in to school you could say "do you want to walk or do you want me to carry you?" This small choice fosters independence while maintaining the end goal of getting in the classroom. Giving choices is also a strategy speech pathologists use to teach language. When you offer the choices it is best to provide a visual or act out the choices so your child can associate the word with the item/action. Further examples of choices to help with transitions are:

• "Do you want to clean up the puzzle or the cars?"
• "You can do it by yourself or mommy can help you." 
• "When we get in the car do you want to listen to Blippi songs or Mickey Mouse songs?"
• "Tablet is all done. Do you want to read a book or color?"
• "Let's take a deep breath. Do you want to smell the flowers or do a balloon breath?" Conscious Discipline offers visuals for calm, deep breaths.

5. Use a Comfort Object or Transitional Item

For some children, carrying a small toy, fidget, or familiar object can provide comfort during transitions. This technique, often used in preschool settings, helps children feel secure as they move between activities. If the object is not distracting, you might allow your child to hold it while they read a story, brush their hair or change their diaper. When they are calm they can put the item back or you may simply put it back later. 

6. Co-Regulation

Co-regulation is a crucial part of helping young children develop self-regulation skills.  Before they can calm themselves, your child needs your support to guide them through their big emotions. Model what words they would be saying if they could like "I'm mad", "I don't want to be done," or "I don't like it." This lets your child know you are hearing them without necessarily giving in. Help your child calm by modeling soothing techniques like deep belly breaths or playing appropriately with a toy. By staying present, validating emotions, and using calming techniques, you can help your child feel safe and understood, laying the foundation for independent self-regulation as they grow.

7. Use a Portable "Calm Down Basket" when Transitions are Tough

Many classrooms utilize a "calm down corner" to give children a safe space to co-regulate. This doesn't always work for toddlers and preschoolers because they may have a difficult time moving to the calm down corner. A portable "calm down basket" can be a valuable tool for supporting co-regulation at home, on the go or in classrooms instead. Here’s how you can create one:

What to Include:

• Soft Comfort Items – A small stuffed animal or blanket for soothing tactile input.

• Fidget Toys – Stress balls, pop tubes, or squishy toys to provide sensory feedback.

• Visual Aids – These mindfulness cards or books that talk about emotions, calming strategies (e.g., deep breaths, counting to ten, stretching) or social stories about particularly difficult transitions helps children to process their emotions. 

• Calming Scents – A stuffed animal with lavender or chamomile-scented lotion allows your child to focus on their sense of smell instead to bring them back to the present. 

• Breathing Tools – A pinwheel or bubbles encourages deep breathing without having to use language. Model using them and then let your child have a turn. 

• Noise-Reducing Headphones – If auditory sensitivity is an issue, these headphones can help reduce overwhelm.

• Bottled water - Stopping to drink water gives a child a moment to reset, reducing impulsivity and emotional overwhelm. 
• Audio books - Listening to a gentle, well-narrated story can help children slow down their breathing and heart rate, shifting their focus away from stress or frustration. These audiobook players help kids feel independent and gain a sense of control when they are upset. 

There are also pre-made calm down baskets if you'd prefer to go that route! 

How to Use It:

• Keep the basket in an easily accessible place at home and bring a smaller version when traveling.

• Model using the items when the child is upset, reinforcing that these tools help manage big emotions.

• Use the basket proactively before transitions or during stressful moments to prevent escalations.

• Stay with your child to help calm them. Use a soothing voice and reassure them you are there to try again when they are ready. 

By implementing these strategies and providing consistent co-regulation support, families and educators can create a more predictable, peaceful environment for children with language delays. When children feel safe and understood, they are better able to engage, learn, and communicate.

For more tips on supporting language development and emotional regulation, follow Word Play Speech Therapy on Instagram.